April 7, 2023
When eating healthy becomes an obsession.
Making informed choices about the food we eat is essential. Today there are more processed and convenience foods than ever before. Chemicals, pesticides, synthetic sweeteners, genetically modified ingredients and more are all reasons we need to pay attention. Healthy lifestyle photos on instagram and elsewhere show us what healthy living means. The trend of diets, whether paleo, vegan, raw, or microbiotic, all say they are the answer. I have tried a lot of these diets and they all offer something that I believe is important, that is, they call you to pay attention, to have connection, to understand you, the environment and how it’s all connected. But what happens when this seemingly healthy choice becomes an obsession?
I first heard the term “orthorexia” used in a podcast. Honestly I wasn’t surprised, I just hadn’t realized there was a medical term for it. And more importantly I realized that I in fact was experiencing this. For years I had followed a loose paleo template, slowly moving into more of a gluten free/dairy free and generally mediterranean diet. Some of these choices came out of need, signaled by digestive distress, acne, headaches, and hormone imbalances. But what started out as empowered choices became an inflexible, anxiety-ridden experience. As I ruled out more and more types of food, I became more isolated and sad. I saw this happening, but didn’t know what to do. It remains true that that if something seems to be making you sick, then you shouldn’t eat it. Yet as time went on, I found myself stressed, realizing I couldn’t go out to eat, I couldn’t take a trip without bringing food along.
We know how much stress can affect our digestion, sleep, and hormones. With orthorexia, you take it too far, not only are you thinking about choosing healthy foods all the time, but you also have extreme anxiety if you have to stray from your eating pattern. This is not the same as the situation in which someone who has a true allergy; or sensitivity to a particular food or food group. In that case there is a physical reaction, whether it be hives, joint pain, diarrhea, insomnia, or something else. Someone with orthorexia is anxious about the idea of choosing the wrong food.
So what can we do?
First things first, take a breath. Navigating diets and what foods are “right”,or “wrong” with food is enough to make anyone stressed. The best place to start is by getting back into your body. Really listening to it and getting familiar with it. It can be as simple as checking in for a moment by asking “how do I feel right now?” “I’m tired”, Ok great, now what can you do about that? If you can, just take a seat, or make yourself a cup of tea if that feels nourishing. Just do what you really need. It may be taking a walk, or having a snack. The important part of this exercise is just to get to know yourself better.
The next step might be using your awareness to catch yourself if you happen to go down a rabbit hole. Observing your mind; and watching it when it starts to have negative thoughts. You don’t need to do anything with them, just notice them. After some time, you can perhaps ask yourself a question. “What are you afraid of?” And then be prepared to listen. Writing can be a great tool here. Even writing out the conversation with yourself. It might look something like this:
“What are you afraid of”?
“I’m afraid I’m going to get sick”.
“Why?”
“Because I’ve had so many health issues, I just want to do the right thing.”
“I understand, it has been hard for you”.
This practice can be quite informative and also help you understand some of the deeper places this behavior might be coming from.
Third, have fun! I know this may seem impossible right now, but what if you went out; and had a bite of something you love, something that is not going to make you extremely sick. Let’s say you’re avoiding gluten, but you want Asian food that contains soy sauce, or a piece of that beautiful sourdough bread from a bakery you’ve been dying to go to. Whatever that step is for you, try it out. This might be easier with a friend, great conversation and laughter.
No one way is better than another, the key here is re-build a healthy relationship with food.
I have used this practice myself with success. I occasionally have that piece of sourdough. My mind or that concerned part of me, still likes to show up and let me know that it may not be a good idea. And I like to say, I’m happy right now, I’m living life, enjoying life. There is more to it all than this piece of bread.